How Sexual Trauma Impacts Confidence and Healing

Have you ever wondered why so many women doubt themselves, settle for safe but unsatisfying careers, or live with an undercurrent of fear? The answer often lies in something many of us don’t talk about enough: sexual trauma. It’s a silent weight that affects far more than we realize, shaping our confidence, our choices, and even our relationships.

Why I Became a Sex Therapist

My path to becoming a sex therapist wasn’t a lighthearted decision—it was born out of necessity. I needed help. The weight of my own sexual trauma had seeped into every corner of my life, leaving me confused, scared, and disconnected. I couldn’t navigate it alone, and through my own journey of healing, I realized how many other women were walking the same path, feeling just as lost and unsupported.

Trauma doesn’t always announce itself loudly. It’s not always about physical experiences—it can be emotional and psychological, too. Gaslighting, manipulation, relationships with narcissists or sociopaths—these are real forms of sexual trauma that leave scars just as deep as physical wounds. And those scars don’t stay in one part of your life. They ripple into everything.

The Ripple Effect of Trauma

Trauma rarely stays in a single box. It spills over into our careers, our health, our self-esteem. Research shows that trauma often goes unrecognized—up to 30% of survivors don’t fully acknowledge their experiences as trauma, often due to shame, societal pressures, or suppression of pain.

Even more heartbreaking is how societal expectations pile on. Studies reveal that up to 70% of women feel shame, guilt, or embarrassment about their sexual needs or desires. That shame is its own kind of trauma—a weight many of us carry without even realizing it.

How Trauma Shapes Our Choices

Trauma whispers into every decision we make, especially when it’s unresolved. It convinces us to play small, to avoid risks, to settle for less because stepping outside of our comfort zone feels terrifying. It shows up in careers we choose out of fear, relationships we cling to despite knowing they aren’t good for us, and in the way we see ourselves in the mirror.

Here’s a reality that might surprise you: trauma can manifest physically, too. Anxiety, depression, chronic health issues, even vaginal pain or low libido—all can be linked back to unresolved trauma. It’s not just in your head—it’s in your body, too.

Reclaiming Your Confidence

Healing from trauma isn’t easy, but it’s possible. It starts with acknowledgment: recognizing how trauma has impacted your life. Your choices. Your body. From there, it’s about reclaiming your story, piece by piece. It’s about learning to trust yourself again, to believe in your worth, and to embrace the life you deserve.

As a sex therapist, my mission is to guide women through this process. It’s not about fixing you because you’re not broken. It’s about helping you understand your trauma, connect with your true self, and create a life where you feel empowered and whole.

You Are Not Alone

If you’re reading this and seeing pieces of yourself in these words, know that you’re not alone. Trauma may feel isolating, but there’s a path forward. It’s okay to ask for help, to take the time you need to heal, and to honor the strength it takes to face these challenges.

Healing is a journey. It’s not linear, and it’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. You deserve to live a life free from the shadows of trauma. You deserve confidence, happiness, and the freedom to be fully, authentically you.